Platoon

It's been a while since my last review, mostly due to losing battles against an inherent laziness, but also a lack of inspiration by the majority of junk I've seen over the last few months. This week though I viewed two movies of such contrasting quality I can no longer bear but dip my quill into ink.

First up: Oliver Stone's 1986 epic Platoon, winner of 4 Oscars.

Herp a derp...

The movie follows main character Chris Taylor, played by Charlie Sheen, a new recruit in the Vietnam War who is forced to question his own moral conscience when facing the horrors of the war. In other words kid goes to war for the hell of it, finds out it's terrible and bad things happen, kid gets mentally ruined for the rest of his life. Staggeringly original.

Anyway, there are some ok performances in the film by the likes of Willem Dafoe, Tom Berenger and Forest Whitaker, but in general the entire movie is ruined by the fact that Charlie Sheen is the protagonist. Watching as Sheen mumbles through his lines reminds one somewhat of an elephant tapdancing: it's a bit of a laugh for a few minutes, then you realise it's just cruelty to animals. Charlie was either stoned throughout the entire film, or worse yet he wasn't.

Dafoe is distraught about being cast in this movie...

Platoon still won 4 Oscars, and was nominated for 4 more (please note: I generally spit in the face of anything the Academy awards after a certain 'Halle Berry incident', but if that's the industry's highest honour, who am I to stand in it's way). Interestingly these were Best Director, Film Editing, Picture, Sound, Supporting Actors (Dafoe and Berenger), Cinematography and Screenplay. I generally agree that these parts of the movie were better than the others. Filmed in the Philippines, the setting looks great and that's something right?

To summarise, Charlie Sheen was awful, the story was boring, but if you dig army guys in the jungle you may get a kick out of this movie.

It's a trap!..

The Good: We learn that drugs are bad.
The Meh: We learn that war is bad.
The Ugly: Charlie Sheen in a war, on drugs.
Hey There Good Looking: Nope.
Overall: 4/10